Friday funnies....

John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. “Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?” asked John.

“Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,” said Tommy.

The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

”Son”, said John, “this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.”

“We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie”, said Tommy.

“What did you watch?” asked Marsha.

“The Ten Commandments”, answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, “I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.”

“I am ashamed of you son”, said John. “When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”

The robot then walked around to John and slapped him and knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, “Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!”

With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

via


---------------------------------------
yea.... not a moment too soon!

via

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tryouts for the U.S. Olympic women’s marathon swim team were to be held.
The first was in California; a swim from from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke.

Three women signed up for the tryouts - a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

The race started, and after approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the winner.
About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled ashore and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete this regulation breaststroke race, she replied, “I don’t want to sound like I’m a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.”

via